Background
Our elder son Jason got married to Miss Florence Lau on July 26th 2014 in Vancouver.
In the afternoon there was a Catholic marriage in the Holy Rosary Cathedral in Vancouver.
In the evening during the wedding dinner, the parents of the groom and bride were asked to make a short speech, about 5-6 minutes. Below is the draft of the speech I made.
The delivered speech departed from the script a little here and there. My wife May chose to be very brief, just saying a few words welcoming the bride into the extended families of both parents.
Both bride and groom are very musical.
The Speech
I like Fr Dion’s homily given this afternoon. I’ll try one of my own. People say the art of such a thing lies in lecturing the son in public without actually lecturing. I’ll give it a try.
The distance from Hong Kong to Vancouver is 10,251.14 kilometers, about 13 hours’ travel time by air. Our family of 4 took the journey in 1995.
Like many new immigrants, we had a long hard journey, giving up much in the hope of achieving a brighter future for the children.
We have survived the journey and would like to think that we have made something of it, reaching a joyful milestone here today.
Now marriage has often been likened to a journey. And as the world’s most popular proverb according to the BBC, by Lao Tzi says, “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” (千里之行, 始於足下), so I would like to take a moment to look back on the journey our family has taken. Maybe there are things there -- old tools and kits -- that Jason and Florence can take with them in their backpack, as they begin their journey to a new life.
The new couple are eminently musical. I would like to sum up our experiences in a musical word of sorts, CLEFFF, C-L-E-F-F-F.
C is for cultures. We made the journey from the East to the West. There is enormous wisdom in both East and West to draw from.
The Chinese saying of marriage, “執子之手, 與子偕老” (Holding hands, we grow old together.) It is as simple as that, a journey of mutual support to the end in a natural way. The American poet Robert Frost says of home that it is “the place, where when you have to go there, they have to take you in.” Something quite unromantic, more a matter of obligations. We can draw from bicultural resources and we did.
L is for love. We heard earlier today from 1 Corinthians, “Love is patient, love is kind…” This definition is comprehensive and I won’t repeat it. For my part, I sometimes thought about the Bard, say his sonnet 116, “(Love) is an ever-fixed mark that looks on tempests and is never shaken.” Tempests there were and will be, but love is not shaken by them but stares them in the face.
E is for education. Both May and I are teachers, so we set great store by education. We’ve tried to provide education for our children to the best of their abilities, not just in academics but in general knowledge, music, sports and travels. It is well-known that for new immigrants, education holds the key to entry into the society they opt to join.
The first two F’s -- yes you guessed it -- stand for family and friends. We early on made the decision to keep the family together all the time. There were opportunities to leave Vancouver to get a better job. But we decided to stick together as one family. And it has worked for us.
I’m sure Jason will bring that strong bond to the new family he has formed with Florence. Our extended families give us material or moral support of one kind or another. To my surprise, our extended family now includes two dogs.
As for friends, on our journey, we have been helped by many friends in many different ways: we have learned friends, friends with skills, friends of action, wise friends, counseling friends, friends for 30 and 40 years. Some of them I am glad to welcome here tonight. When Jason was growing up, he grew up among friends. That might not sound like a big deal, but that does not happen to all children. He grew up among friends in Hong Kong and in Canada, in playgroups, schools, orchestras, colleges, and the workplace. And I’m sure that that has helped him to mature and gain a wider horizon.
The last F is forgiveness or at least forgetfulness. We need those too, every now and then.
So, with CLEFFF, we have come a long way, as a family. Our story is quite ordinary really; many new immigrants have similar experiences.
Nevertheless, we are a proud happy old couple today, May and I, 38 years into the bargain (and a bargain it has been for me). We wish the same happiness and more for the new couple, Florence and Jason. May your long journey in small steps lead to understanding, fulfillment and joy. July 28, 2014
The Wedding Couplet with Explanatory Notes