Background
Our younger son David got married to Miss Kimberly Jang on April 25th 2015 in Vancouver. The parents of the groom and bride were asked to make a short speech of about 7 minutes during the wedding dinner in the evening. Below is the draft of the speech I made.
The delivered speech departed from the script a little here and there. My wife, May, chose to be brief, just saying a few words welcoming the bride into the extended families of both parents.
In the afternoon there was a civil marriage in the Heritage Hall in Vancouver.
The challenge of writing this speech is to make it different from that given for the elder son’s wedding nine months ago. I chose a more personal and humorous approach.
The speech is uploaded as a way of sharing my joy with my old classmates and as a record.
The Speech
"Kim and David, Ladies and Gentlemen,
I’ve been looking for a phrase that sums up adequately my state of mind today. I found it in a book by C. S. Lewis, quoting Wordsworth, called “Surprised by Joy”. The phrase by itself just about sums things up for me. I would like to share with you the reasons why.
David has so far given his parents, May and I, a fair measure of surprises. Take music, for example. Mom teaches the piano, and would like David to learn some musical instrument. He tried the piano. No. He tried the violin. No. Then he joined the school jazz band and the marching band to play the trumpet. So we found him a trumpet teacher, and away he went: Tootatootatoot Tootatootatoot. One Remembrance Day, he was asked to play The Last Post for the school assembly. I could imagine the scene. And as I imagined it (doo…doo…) I was moved by the solemnity of the occasion and by the fact that David has become part of a Canadian tradition.
Then he set his sights on getting into SFU Business. Competition was fierce. But by a judicious combination of subjects, some help with math from our good friend Mr Tam there (Thank you), and plenty of hard work on his part, David made it. We were pleased that he could study courses of his own choosing: marketing and human resources. He came home one day to tell me about this awesome new president of the Student Marketing Association: O, she got ideas, she could plan, she could lead, she could even paint and draw, her full name Kimberly Jang. The rest, as you all know, is living history.
Now Chinese legend has a figure parallel to Cupid. He is the Old Man in the Moonlight月下老人, tying the feet of lovers together with a red string even when they might be thousands of miles apart 千里姻緣一線牽. Surprise, surprise, from Hong Kong, David crossed the Pacific Ocean, all 10,251.14 kilometers (1), to settle in Burnaby. He and Kim went to the same school, graduated the same year, entered the same college, took the same major, graduated the same year, and served the same association, David as vice president. For a while, they even worked in the same company. Thank you, Old Man in the Moonlight.
David also took up motor-cycling and hockey. We were so worried. He had fun and he had accidents. I remember being invited to 8 Rinks in Burnaby to watch him play. There I found myself with a mug of beer in one hand and a hot wing in the other. For once I became a Hockey Dad. It was as Canadian as I could get, other than being asked the question every now and then, “Excuse me, are you Dr David Suzuki?” (2) David’s motor-cycling experience led to his first full-time job. So much for our worries.
One more story (and it’s not about air boots (3)). Last August, we went to the Rockies and David drove seven out of the eight days’ vacation. One day, I had a nasty fall outside a hotel and both an elbow and a knee were bleeding profusely. I went to the hotel counter and the lady there gave me one look, pulled out a huge metallic first-aid box and said, “Sorry, I don’t know how to do first-aid. Can you look after yourself?” Along came David, and he whipped out a red bag complete with first-aid gadgets. He made no fuss about it, just cleansed the wounds with water (not even peroxide) and bandaged them. In three days, I was as good as new. It so happens that David is one of two trained First-Aid Attendants of his company. Surprised by joy.
Now why should I be surprised time and again? Fundamentally it has to do with my immigrating from Hong Kong to Canada in middle age. I had little knowledge or experience of mountain biking, winter sports, rooting for the Canucks no matter what (4), different kinds of bands, break dancing, DIY, “Homeowners helping homeowners” (5) etc. and I adapted slowly. When David embraced the ways of the New World, things often became unexpected, even unsettling. I have since learned that the unexpected can bring joy.
We immigrated in the hope of a better life for the children and the family. We expected tough times, rough times, and we had our share. Now after exactly twenty years, I’d like to think that we’ve made something of our lives here in Canada, culminating in the happy event today. Both our children, Jason and David, are independent, educated and free, have made many friends and now have a family of their own, have put down roots. Our family is not only whole but extended, considerably, to as far as Vernon and Hawaii I understand. May and I can say truly today that we are Surprised by Joy. Kim and David, may your joint adventure in life be filled also with joy. Thank you."
Notes:
(1) Distance from Hong Kong to Vancouver
(2) Dr David Suzuki, Canadian environmentalist, founder of the Dr David Suzuki Foundation
(3) David sustained an injury during hockey and had to walk in air boots for some time.
(4) The name of the hockey team in Vancouver
(5) Part of an advertising slogan used by Home Hardware, a Canadian hardware company